A Step-by-Step Guide to Overcoming Imposter Syndrome
Written by Steven Urban and Katherine Cox
Have you ever felt that you weren’t as smart, successful, or good at your job as everyone else seems to think? Or that you have a job title or pay grade that’s way above your actual abilities or value? You were probably experiencing imposter syndrome.
Feeling like your skills, intelligence, or value don’t align with the high regard you feel from others or the responsibilities of your job is very common. According to Forbes, about 70% of people will experience impostor syndrome at some point in their lives, whether it’s at their career, student life, or personal life. But if it keeps you from moving forward in your career or gives you anxiety, it’s time to learn how to overcome it.
Learn more about imposter syndrome and actionable steps to stop it in its tracks.
What is Imposter Syndrome?
Imposter syndrome is a psychological mismatch between how we feel about our abilities or intelligence compared to our lived experience. For instance, you may be earning an advanced degree and feel that you’re out of your depth compared to other students, although teachers or professors seem to think you’re doing just fine. Or you could land a high-paying, high-responsibility job that colleagues respect you for, while you feel underqualified or incapable.
This self-doubt can cause real problems in your career or home life, including feelings of being unworthy of love or affection, fear of success or failure, perfectionism, and playing down your accomplishments or competence. When it keeps you from accepting a new role or challenge or interferes with your personal relationships, it’s time to figure out how to stop imposter syndrome from within. Many individuals will often work to find ways to fix it within themselves through therapy and personal coaching.
Aligning the Self to Stop Doubt
Every person has multiple facets to their personality. Think about who you are to different people in your life. Are you the same person to your boss as you are to your friends or family? Even people who are close to you will see different aspects of you, including your flaws and your strengths.
Start thinking about the different aspects of your personality. There may be one perspective where you’re an imposter, but others where you’re adequate or even a genius. Find other lenses to view yourself and your situation. Create a foundation of the self that can serve as your cornerstone and that you can come back to build your inner alliance.
Recognize that while others may give you a perspective of yourself, you have the power to change your internal perspective, too. In this way, you can better align your vision of yourself with one that removes self-doubt and helps you move forward.
5 Steps to Overcome Imposter Syndrome
It’s not enough to know that imposter syndrome is common or to be told that you shouldn’t compare yourself to others. Here are five steps you can take to create a foundation of the self and overcome the self-doubt of imposter syndrome.
1. Quit thinking about what you don’t have
One of the hallmarks of imposter syndrome is the thought of what you don’t possess: “I’m not smart enough”, “I’m not educated enough”, “I’m not good enough”. It’s easy to get mired down in these thoughts and let them dictate your daily actions and long-term decision-making. But by leaving those thoughts behind and instead focusing on what you do have, you can change the conversation in your head. This is part of what makes gratitude so important in our personal and professional lives.
2. Define your values
We all have values that define who we are and how we interact with the world. When you feel angry or out of place, it’s probably because one of your values is being dishonored – either by yourself or others. For instance, if you value collaboration and are met with competition, you may feel anxious, angry, or confused. But if a colleague works with you through a problem, you may find that you feel understood or even joyful. When we know what our values are and can identify when they’re being honored or dishonored, we can move more authentically through our lives by finding ways to honor them.
3. Find your strengths
On top of our values, our strengths are another thing we possess that makes us who we are. Imposter syndrome can make us focus on our weaknesses, perceived or otherwise. Identifying our strengths gives us a list of “what we have” so that we can focus on them and move forward. We can also find ways to align our work and home lives with those strengths so that we feel more secure in our actions and decisions.
4. Identify your purpose
You may feel imposter syndrome at your job because what you’re doing doesn’t align with your purpose. Our strengths and values often combine as part of our purpose, which is our “why”. Ask yourself: What would I want people to remember about me? What am I most proud of or passionate about? Your purpose doesn’t have to be world-changing or grandiose. It can be as simple as doing your work excellently, making others feel welcome, or being kind.
5. Ask questions
While relying on others to define yourself isn’t helpful, asking questions can help guide you to the right answers. Often we assume what others think of us based off their actions, and this can give us a faulty sense of what is really going on. If we ask clear, direct questions, we can get better feedback on the facets of ourselves that we’re trying to define without making assumptions. We can also ask ourselves questions about our self-definition from time to time to see if we’ve changed in some ways, so we can continue to align ourselves with those deeper facets.
Practice articulating, advocating, and navigating
Once you’ve defined who you are, you can articulate it to yourself and then others. When you know what makes you unique, who you are, what you need, and how you operate, you can move from the unconscious rules you’ve set in place for yourself to understand why you have power over those reactions.
From there, you can advocate for yourself by stating what you need, how you get it, and why you need it. You can clearly communicate with others about these needs and get to a better state together.
Finally, you’ll be able to navigate the journey of your goals with confidence. This navigation will mean circling back when new issues arise so that you can again articulate them, advocate for yourself within them, and continue to navigate with the new intelligence going forward.
Self-discovery is not a linear process. Over time you’ll be able to share your rules and operations or adapt them as necessary. This self-understanding will allow you to be vulnerable and ultimately build trust with others, which can help you overcome self-doubt and imposter syndrome.
Enlist Build Your Alliance in Your Fight Against Imposter Syndrome
Use the tools at Build Your Alliance to help build your foundation of self-awareness so that you can fight imposter syndrome. We dig deep into your values, strengths, and purpose to help you discover new ways to align your life with them. Book a consultation today to start your journey to defeat imposter syndrome from within.