The Reality of Burnout and What Recovery Looks Like

Written by Steven Urban and Kat Cox

The year was 2019. I was lying in a hotel bed, paralyzed. Tears were streaming down my face. I was sure I was having a heart attack and I was about to die. All I could think about was the poor housekeeping person finding me the next afternoon, still in this bed, dead. 

I stayed this way for three hours before I was able to regulate my breathing, get up, and function again.

I know now that I was having a severe panic attack from burnout at work. I wasn’t in any real danger of dying, but knowing that now doesn’t change the impact that moment had on me. My biggest takeaway was that I needed to make a big change. The big question was: how? 

What is burnout and who gets it?

While burnout is not a medical diagnosis, it is a serious state of complete physical, mental, and emotional exhaustion. It’s brought on by stress at work (or work stress compounded with stress from your personal life).

Symptoms of burnout can include those similar to anxiety and depression:

• Lack of interest in activities you used to love

• Feelings of hopelessness or meaninglessness

• General crankiness or not wanting to be with people

• Difficulty concentrating

• Panic

• Negative feelings toward your job

• Lack of purpose

• Inability to focus or complete tasks

• Extreme tiredness or fatigue (including being unable to get out of bed)

• Heart palpitations

• Stomach troubles

• Insomnia

• Searching for relief through drugs, alcohol, or other substances

Not everyone gets burnout – two workers who do the same amount of work can have completely different reactions to their work stress. But it’s becoming a major problem with American workers – the American Psychological Association reported in 2021 that 3 in 5 workers reported experiencing it, while Deloitte reported that 77% of workers have experienced burnout at their current job as of 2023. Knowledge workers, teachers, and healthcare professionals are more likely to experience burnout than other workers, and women are more likely to experience burnout than men. 

Being burned out has serious consequences for businesses. Workers who are burned out are less productive, take more sick days, and engage in behaviors like negative talk at work or quiet quitting, where they stop contributing to their jobs. Burnout also takes a physical toll on its victims, increasing the risk of heart attack, stroke, and diabetes. And let’s not forget how awful a panic attack (like mine) can feel. 

Why is burnout plaguing American workers?

The biggest contributor to burnout is chronic stress from working too much. Other factors include feeling out of control or as if your say doesn’t matter; not being recognized for the work you do; having bad or no relationships with your colleagues; feeling that things are unfair in the office; and a mismatch between your personal values and those of the organization. Personal stressors like money problems, romantic breakups, or illnesses can also contribute to burnout. 

Since the COVID-19 pandemic hit in 2020, workers in the U.S. have been faced with many challenges that add stress, such as:

• Work uncertainty – Layoffs have spread through many industries like wildfire lately, and it’s hard to tell if you can count on your paycheck. It’s also hard to find a new job because the job market is so competitive.

• Needing to do more with less – As our colleagues have been let go, most of us have had to pick up the slack, working more than we would have in the past. At the same time, improvements in technology mean that we have even more to do than we had before. 

• Working from home – This is a tricky one because it may benefit some workers, while for others working remotely also means there’s less of a line between work and personal time, so it can be difficult to shut off. We can also be more disconnected from our coworkers, which can mean it’s hard to build trust with our team members.  Some leaders are overwhelmed themselves and miss opportunities to create connection, trust, and healthy boundaries between personal and professional time for remote employees.

• Money problems – Inflation has meant that basic necessities have gone up in price while most of our pay rates have stayed about the same. We’re more worried about affording rent, medical care, utilities, and food than we have been in years past. 

• Changes in social structures – The pandemic forced most of us to cut socializing out of our daily lives, which has increased loneliness and disconnection. It also made us question who our real friends were or what we valued in our communities. 

• Political strife – It’s no secret that the political landscape has been increasingly fraught, even before the pandemic. Listening to the news can make anyone feel hopeless, helpless, or disconnected. 

How can you fix burnout?

The first step in fixing burnout is to recognize it’s happening. Listen to your body, thoughts, and feelings. While I thought I was having a heart attack, what was really happening was my body was telling me I was working too hard. Are you getting migraines? Having trouble sleeping? Snapping at your coworkers? These may be symptoms of other issues, but take a step back and also ask yourself if you’re experiencing burnout. From there, you should talk to medical and mental health professionals to get help. 

Workplaces have been trying to offer solutions to burnout over the past few years, including providing mental health benefits and access to apps like Calm or in-office yoga sessions. These are all good options to help you deal with work stress, although they won’t do much to reduce the amount of work you have to do or strengthen your relationships with your colleagues. 

If you’re experiencing burnout, you should talk to your manager about reducing or restructuring your workload. Unfortunately, fewer than half of employees say they feel confident their employers care about them. This means many workers won’t feel comfortable talking to their managers about changing work habits or reassigning work. You may feel powerless at work because you really don’t have much control over the direction the organization chooses to go, which can make it hard to feel empowered to ask for change. 

One strong thing you can do to deal with burnout for yourself is to learn to say “no”: no to extra work, no to taking responsibility for others, and no to work that you don’t find fulfilling. This last one is tricky, because it may mean you need to change jobs or even careers. Saying “no” can have consequences, but trust me – these usually end up being better for you in the long run. 

What comes after burnout?

For me, that panic attack in the hotel was a wake-up call that I needed to make big changes in my life. I may not have known right at that moment what those changes needed to be, but it was the event that got the ball rolling. 

I’ve since been able to align my work better with my needs, strengths, and goals. I had to cut some things out of my life – 80-hour work weeks, constant travel, and unhealthy pressure, to name a few. I also had to learn about myself and increase my self-awareness so that I could learn what to say “yes” to. Now I can find joy in my work as well as my personal life, which helps me deal with the hard times when they come. 

At Build Your Alliance, our coaches work with individuals to help them identify stressors alongside strengths and goals. If you need help finding your way out of burnout, we can provide guidance through coaching but also recommend working with a therapist as well. Book a consultation today to learn more about aligning your work with your needs, values, strengths, and purpose so you can start dealing with (or avoiding) burnout.